Domestic Violence Against Men

Submitted by Anonymous

I have worked as a counselor in a domestic violence shelter in the Midwest for more than five years. I enjoyed my job when it was legitimate, when I was helping an actual victim of domestic violence overcome their past, their trauma, and move on with their lives.

However, day-by-day, week-by-week, it became more and more obvious that the business of domestic violence and my belief in what the true goal of our shelter should be were two very different animals.

The business of domestic violence is exactly that - a business only concerned with numbers, statistics, and money (generally in the form of donations). I believe this is incredibly detrimental to actual victims of domestic violence.

These shelters also make it extremely tempting to people to lie about abuse in order to present themselves as a victim of domestic violence so they would qualify for shelter care.

Thus, I have agreed to write a series of articles for MensRights.com from the viewpoint of someone who was actually there on the inside to expose the truth of what goes on in a domestic violence shelter.

When it comes to domestic violence awareness, most of the attention is paid to abused women. But readers of MensRights.com know all too well how prevalent domestic violence against men is.

You also know how false allegations of abuse are being used against you, primarily for strategic legal reasons. MensRights.com editor Matt Allen discussed the issue of domestic violence against men in divorce and child custody cases with Cordell & Cordell mens divorce attorney Heather Biagi.

By Sarah Long

Cordell & Cordell Minnesota Divorce Lawyer

Restraining orders, also known as protective orders or orders of protection, are better known as tactical nuclear weapons in family law cases. A system that was designed to protect against abuse is itself being abused.

The misuse of restraining orders by women when going through a divorce is one of the more prevalent and unfortunate trends in family law.

This is because protective orders are easy to obtain – all a woman has to do is say that she is in reasonable fear for her safety. Documented evidence of abuse is not required.

With a small statement, the accused (again, the man in about 85% of the cases) can be forced to stay out of the home, barred from parenting time, and prevented from any contact with his children, including through phone and email. In an instant, his house and kids can be taken away from him.

So it's important to be aware of restraining orders and the impact these orders can have on your case. Here are answers to 8 common questions about orders of protection.

Living with a spouse you are divorcing can be awkward and tension-filled, but it's often a necessity many men have to deal with either because of economics or the strategic edge gained by remaining in the marital home.

Until a court order is entered awarding one party exclusive possession of the marital home, both parties have an equal right to continue to reside at the residence.

Therefore, as long as there are no court orders in place, you and your wife are equally entitled to reside in the marital home.

But if your wife really wants you out of the home then it’s likely she could resort to filing a restraining order or similar order of protection to keep you out of your house even if there is no evidence to suggest a restraining order is warranted.

A system designed to protect from abuse is being abused. False allegations of abuse are increasingly rampant in today's family law courtrooms because of how easy it is to obtain orders of protection that give a huge advantage to one side - usually the woman's side.

Tom Lemons explored this injustice in his latest film "DVI: The Inside Story," a documentary that looks at the impact of false domestic violence claims and a legal system that favors those who lie to obtain them.

Lemons talked with MensRights.com editor Matt Allen about the tactical use of false allegations and the destructive, lasting consequences it forces on the man being victimized.

Men comprise 25–50% of all intimate partner violence victims in a given year and now researchers have published the first studies linking domestic abuse against men by their female partners to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, according to the American Psychological Association.

PTSD is a psychiatric condition that can follow the experience of a traumatic incident and the experience of intimate partner violence is generally considered to be a traumatic event.

Intimate partner violence, which includes physical, sexual, and psychological maltreatment of one partner against another, is a national social and health problem affecting hundreds of thousands of individuals and families a year, according to the study titled "Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Men Who Sustain Intimate Partner Violence" published in the April issue of Psychology of Men & Masculinity.

An organization devoted to improving the effectiveness of our nation’s approach to solving domestic violence has compiled and analyzed 50 domestic violence myths that are prevalent in today’s society.

RADAR (Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting), a non-profit, non-partisan organization of men and women, put together 50 popular domestic violence claims that are made by the media and various organizations and are even included in legislative bills.

The group says its concern is not merely in the large number of dishonest assertions but that the "widespread existence of such myths has come to overshadow the truth of domestic violence."

What follows are eight of the more revealing domestic violence myths, according to RADAR. Click the link to read all 50 domestic violence myths.

If you are a male suffering from abuse, your dog may have a better chance than you of finding domestic violence support services.

Domestic violence shelters for household pets are now being established yet there are only a handful of shelters in the United States for male victims of abuse.

“I think male bipeds should get some support services before we start opening up temporary shelters for cats, dogs and hamsters,” said Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, a psychologist who runs the Shrink4Men website. “I think that pretty much sums up the domestic violence against men issue.”

Domestic violence against men is one of the many instances in which the laws are applied unequally simply because of gender. It doesn’t help that there are so few services available for abused men.

Jan Brown recognized this deficiency and is doing something about it.

Brown is the founder and executive director of the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women that provides supportive services for victims of domestic violence, specializing in offering assistance to men in intimate relationships with abusive women.

The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women is a nationwide toll-free helpline that is believed to be the only service of its kind that assists men nationwide.

Brown discussed her organization, its mission and resources available to abused men.

Dr. Charles Corry is one of the nation’s leading researchers on domestic violence against men and president of the Equal Justice Foundation.

Corry discussed with the Men's Rights website his research on domestic violence against men, primary aggressor laws that unfairly target men and myths about domestic violence.