Domestic Violence Myths

5 comments

• Comment Link Monday, 20 February 2012 11:53 posted by Alex g.

  I'm a 20 year old man from iowa. On october 14 2010, when I was only 18, I was charged with a domestic. Until then I had no prior criminal history, not even a speeding ticket. My then wife of less than year had had an argument late one night. the neighbors above our apt called 911 after they heard her telling me to get off her. when the police show up, my wife had gone to another neighbors apt and I was at home. I was already under the influence of pills and alcohol and was brought in. I wake up a day later in jail. the story goes like this: the cops find me in my apt emotionaly distraught and intoxicated dripping blood from my arm and find my wife at one neighbors. I told police we were arguing and in the commotion she broke a mirror and I was cut in several spots. She hit me several times and so I held her arms to her side to make her stop and then she hit me in the groin and left the apt. She told them at first before she knew I told them she cut and hit me, that nothing happened, then changed the story afterwards, saying that I closed fisted pummeled and choked her to the floor, dispite having not a bruise or mark or anything. The next night, I call my mother in law... From jail. she tells me what was apparently being, said and hangs up. After a week I still hear mouthing from my public defender. My grandfather tells me that my wife dropped the no contact order and I start talking to her. From jail, see the pattern? Ok so she says it's dropped and blah blah right? Well I get out on a pretrial release and return to my wife, only to learn that the prosecutor never sent in the signed papers ordering the order dropped. after being on release for another month and a half, I came home and caught her cheating, and a week prior to that she had an std. I tell her I'm leaving and I would come back for my things I'm the morning. The next day I have the local cops arresting me saying I violated the nco, and charged me with a 2nd domestic. What did she say I did this time? Barged in her apt unannounced, just started strangling her the punched her repeatedly, and then just left. Bam, back in jail. Here comes all the controversy. Ok, apparently, both times, I punched her REPEATEDLY, choked her to the ground, and strangled her. Ok I've been a wrestler since the 2nd grade, and a light weight boxer since jr high. I weighed 130 lbs at the time. She was a runner and had 30 lbs on me. So I beat her repeatedly in the head face nd body, and choked her huh? Explain to me how there was not a single mark on her either time, yet the first time when I got cut, they didn't even look at them, I woke up in the cell still bleeding and they never took pictures. Not to mention this whole time, I've talked to my public defender once in 3 months. So my pd tells me well I can garuntee you will win. Well he never talks to a single witness of mine, doesn't get the jail calls I requwsted, does nothing. Doesn't even do a pretrial investigation. Then the day if trial hands me a plea for unsuporvised probation, and 60 days in jail, says I'll have time served and I'll walk. Piece of cake? Well I'm a stupid 18 year old kid with no family, parents or anything, so I take the plea just to get out of paying a bunch of money for a real attorney. Well instead of sentencing me to the unsupervised probation, I get ordered to 3 years supervised and BEP.I've been out since may, and now I'm facing a contempt charge for not paying fines. My life was ruined by being falsely accused. And while I was sitting in jail for all this, my soon to be ex wife, stole my car and sold it, destroyed all my things, cleaNed out my bank account and, the police didn't do shit. Not to mention after id been in jail 2 weeks the 2nd time around, she got impregnated by one of the men she cheated with. This ruimed my life, I lost my scholarship and my education, and when I got out of jail in may literally started my new life with just the clothes on my back. No money, no car, no job, no home. It took me until july just to have a place to live, and just last month got a job. Nowhere will hire me notes because I'm on probation and I'm labeled as a woman beating college drop out. Some of, these dv laws really really can ruin lives. You know that just cause I was young and alone, the system took advantage of me to scare a plea into me and my inexperienced, previously coke convicted public defender. Is there anything, anything at all I can do to repeal this in any way? Any way for me to get help, get my life back, or even have my case relooked at? Are the attorneys or agencies willing to help? , again I'm trying to do this all alone, no friends our family cause this, I have none. I have no support physically, emotionaly, monetarily, or legally, and don't know what to do..
• Comment Link Saturday, 12 November 2011 19:53 posted by FATHER'S RIGHTS COUNCIL OF GEORGIA

  We are the FATHER'S RIGHTS COUNCIL OF GEORGIA and we agree with these stats.
• Comment Link Saturday, 30 April 2011 14:14 posted by co sig

  Yes, the second wife during the divorce battle with 4 children from 16 yrs. to 5 yrs. falsely accused my brother of sexually molesting his adopted 16 yrs. old son for years. This set in concrete that he would be expected to pay child support faced 90 days in jail and maybe prison time, ruined his criminal background check although not convicted it shows up in criminal background checks that he was tried for sexual molestation and abuse and abandonment and released. This was not cleared and declared not guilty for 7 years for 7 years he was expected to pay $314.00 in child support and moved frequently and couldn't get a job due to these charges. It ruined his life. The ex-wife successfully alienitated the father from his children and ruined his life. The sexual molestation and abuse and abandonment charges are on his record past his death and he will never recover and the ex-wife and kids walked away free and clear with no repercussions. It was a nightmare for extended family as well. Isolation and alienitation occurred from natural support networks. Ex-wives who falsely accuse during a divorce should face severe penalities for perjury.
• Comment Link Saturday, 30 April 2011 14:06 posted by mil sig

  Now the mentally ill third wife and the 8 year old child call police on family and her husband and the wife and 8 year old beats on him for not providing her with her basic needs. She makes no effort to work or because of the husband's controlling isolating of the wife the cycle is there for domestic violence. She has with help of Mormon Church falsely accused him of domestic violence in Arizona. It appears to be an on-going domestic violence sitiaton that can get much worse before it gets better. The husband who has mild mental retardation, emotional, depression and borderline traits with narcisstic traits is pretty much beat down by the verbal and emotional abuse by his 50 yr. old unemployed chronicall depressed wife and now the 8 yr. old child is beating on him to.
• Comment Link Saturday, 30 April 2011 14:01 posted by mil sig

  My brother has poor judgment and insight. He has had 3 marriages. In two out of three marriages he has been accused of domestic violence. he is controlling, but two wives have falsely accused him of domestic violence and gotten away with it. They marry what they get and things aren't going to change from the get go. They married out of a blue collar assumption that the man will provide them a lifestyle and money for that lifestyle. My brother has a 71 i.q. and isn't capable of holding a full time job and getting along socially with people. They then go through child support to get child support, put him in jail and call him a deadbeat dad when he should never have even had children because he doesn't have the capability to support them. The wife he married doesn't work while with him due to his controlling ways and they are part of the welfare system to survive so how will he be capable of paying $314.00 in child support when he is non-employable and is the same today as he was when he married these 2 women. He should have had a vastecomy and never fathered children but it is to late now. The children are here on earth. The wife 50% of the problem continued to have 3 children until she had a girl and then thank god because of her poor judgment and bad health her tubes were tied so no more children. The other wife had mental illnesses and two sons in mid-20's with multiple problems when she had a daughter by my brother and it has been nothning but a nightmare with domestic violence charges, neither one of them working and the poverty and abject housing conditions with frequent moves with family primarily providing supports for these two deadbeat parents with mental and emotional illnesses that do not allow them to function normally. It has been a nightmare for functioning family members who try to support and do crisis interventions.